The title of this book, while probably being a little too bold in statement and a turn-off for readers, makes sense
to me. Because while reading, I realized this isn’t a story by Kyle Michel Sullivan. Instead, this is Curt’s story. This is 144 pages into the psychological constructs of a man who is retelling his story, and the significance of these moments in his life. And when I think about it, the title seems fitting for what CURT would have chosen if he had published this snippet of his life to the masses.
Told in first-person POV, we get intimate with Curt’s mind. I felt like he was telling me (convincing me) about the choices he’s made. Some people may be repulsed with him – after all, he’s by no means a good
person. But what I can say is that he’s a product (victim?) of his upbringing and the contradictions and brutality of reality. Some of it was by his choice, but I couldn’t bring myself to dislike or hate him. Curt’s assessments of life were spot on in many instances, and maybe that was the beginning of this very fragile connection I had with him.
What started out as a shallow story quickly became something much more. Curt will retell certain moments of his life at seemingly random times when he’s reminded of it. These introspective moments make Curt become something more than your typical prison-rapist. He’s actually a very complex character that contradicts every first impression you get of him at first. This is Curt’s story, and my heart ached so much for him. Did that excuse his actions? No. But damn it, I just wished things were different for him. I wished there was one person who could of held his hand and cared for him the way everyone deserves.
It’s weird – but that towel hurt me. Gave me a pain deep inside. I dunno why, but I held it close. Smelled it. Let it go smooth over my skin. Lay it gentle ‘round my neck. I’d never felt a towel like that, before.
Yeah, that made my heart hurt
The blurb for this story is accurate, but I felt it gives the wrong impression for what it all means. This is a journey. Curt’s psychological journey. And no, there is no happy ending or even a happy-for-now (in my opinion). There is a feeling of regret at lost opportunities from a realization that could only come after the fact.
My advice: don’t read this if you’re expecting a great, original storyline. Don’t read this if you’re looking for dark erotica (though there is sex, both M/F and M/M). Don’t read this if the topic and act of fictional rape and violence turns you off. Don’t read this if you’re wanting a romance. And don’t read this if you need a HFN/HEA.
But if you’re wanting a powerful and gripping psychological journey of a man spiraling into an abyss, then Curt’s story is what I recommend.